lumps

Thursday, I noticed something like a large pimple or an insect bite on my forehead. Didn't pop: not a pimple. Very painful. Then, later that day, I noticed a lump at the hinge of my right jaw, just in front of my right earlobe. Extremely painful. Not my imagination.

It was suggested that we wait through the weekend to see what came of these things: Not me. The very next day, the very first thing, Catherine and I went to the doctor, waited , read a lot, overheard more Oprah than wanted, waited more, then showtime.

Forehead first: it's a staph infection (she thinks). It's large now and red, and beginning to get scaly. Having just seen a House in which someone with a staph infection goes into emergency-alert and almost dies just before every commercial break, I wasn't pleased. But apparently all I have to do is wash my hands every 1.5 minutes and take some pills and it goes away.

Jawlump: related to forehead. It's a swollen lymph node doing its job, which is to absorb poison from other places. In other words, it's a big swollen thing full of dangerous poison that appears in order to prevent you from getting a big swollen thing full of poison. Anyway, handwashing and pills should do the trick.